Why do I foster Dogs?

I sometimes wonder what foster dogs think - Suddenly finding themselves in a strange place with strange people...often residing with strange dogs...What goes through their minds? Tucker is 9 1/2 years old.  He had been in 3 homes and a shelter before he made his way to me.  He is understandably anxious, but in just 9 days he has settled into our home.  At day 4 he started "listening" to the girl dogs, backing off instead of repeatedly mounting them and getting snapped at.  At day 5 he stopped pacing.  At day 6 he stopped staring at me intensely, his eye contact becoming soft, rather than frantic. At day 7 he started settling elsewhere in the house rather than insisting on keeping me in sight.  At day 8 he started barking in the yard at outside noises, protecting it as his own.  At day 9 (today) he started picking up toys and playing. It is a process.

I have fostered a lot of dogs over the years.  Time and again I have offered unconditional acceptance, appropriate exercise, consistent expectations, predictable routines and plenty of love to dogs whose previous lives were sadly lacking in those areas.  Some dogs settle into foster easily.  Others take time to accept their new environment and housemates.  But all of them go through that change in their eyes.  Their expression always changes at some point. Confusion becomes clarity.  Fear becomes trust. Panic subsides.

When people ask me why I subject myself to the emotional upheaval that fostering dogs creates, I tell them that it helps dogs find loving homes.  But in truth, it is as much for me as it is for them.  I am addicted to seeing that transformation in their eyes.  There is nothing better in this world.
 

Patience is a virtue

I first met Lilly when her human parents came to me to evaluate their pup.  They described her as alarmingly aggressive - biting, throwing temper tantrums, acting wild and out of control.  She was just 10 weeks old.  Lilly's parents had raised Labradors before and had never experienced a puppy like her.  They couldn't even pet her without coming out of it bloody and scratched. "Is this normal," they asked?  "Is there something wrong with her? Should we keep her? We don't want to give up on her...but..."

 My first thought upon meeting Lilly was, "Hey, what a cute pup!".  My second thought was, "Glad she's not mine!" Lilly was cute for sure and playful, but she displayed very little impulse control.  She was easily over stimulated and did not react well to restraint at all.  Her eyes dilated and her teeth started grabbing and snapping when her adrenalin spiked or when she was prevented from doing what she wanted.  Yikes!  These folks had a real project on their hands.

Immediately we discussed the importance of being calm when dealing with Lilly.  We trained SIT and started using it as Lilly's access to what she wanted.  We practiced standing on the leash and keeping our hands away from her until she calmed.  We immediately stopped interaction when she went after our feet or acted wild.  We talked about increased exercise and playtime with other dogs.  They started Lilly in my Basic Manners class, set up play dates with another Lab pup in class and they hired me to walk Lilly twice a week. 

It is one thing to spend an hour here and there with a pup like Lilly.  Frankly its fairly easy to be consistent and calm for a short period of time, but I knew these folks had their patience tried daily, actually living with Lilly. I know they lost their cool occasionally and I knew Lilly did too from the scrapes and bites marks on their arms!  My first few walks with Lilly were not all that much fun.  She would bite my feet while on leash and jump on me wildly in the fenced yard, leading with her open mouth.  I won't lie to you...I finally lost my temper when she took me off guard and really hurt me.  I spoke sharply and grabbed her collar.  That action on my part caused our first and thankfully our last, complete meltdown.  Lilly's pupils dilated and she started thrashing, snapping her jaws like a crocodile.  "Oh my" I thought, "bad idea, Auntie Lesli".  

Realizing my mistake I stopped, stepped on her leash, completely ignored her and waited until her temper tantrum ran its course.  When she relaxed for a millisecond I immediately redirected her to a game of fetch and from that moment forward, Lilly became MY teacher.

Lilly has taught me patience.  She has taught me to be in the moment at all times.  She has taught me to truly trust that rewarding the good stuff and ignoring the bad stuff works.  She has taught me that management and being proactive is so very important.  In other words, she has taught me to practice what I preach!  We all know dogs that will stop what they are doing when told to do so sternly.  Lilly is not one of those dogs and she is a constant reminder to me of why I choose to train dogs using gentle, non threatening methods.  Just because those methods sometimes work is NOT an excuse to use them.  And for a dog like Lilly...punitive training methods are completely inappropriate and cause her to escalate her inappropriate behavior.

Lilly and I can now take long companionable walks together and play fetch in the yard.  Does she occasionally get over stimulated, lose her mind for a moment and get bitey?  You betcha!  But when I react with complete calm, stopping all movement and looking away from her, Lilly relaxes almost immediately now.  She is a baby and in time she will develop more impulse control.  Meanwhile her family and I will exercise her as much as possible, buy LOTS of chew toys, give her playtime with other dogs, keep working on basic skills and we will help her learn to control her temper by controlling our own!

Lilly , you are cute pup and I love you like you were mine!