Once upon a time it was hard to stay one step ahead of Pogo.  He was fast and quick triggered and reactive to his environment.  His intelligence and reactivity forced me to work hard to direct him and keep him out of trouble.  He made me a better trainer. He kept me on my toes.

Agility training gave us an outlet for Pogo's intensity and taught us to work together.  If I close my eyes I can still feel the rush of adrenaline and the joy I felt while running with him.  I miss the team work... the communication... the feeling of being connected. I miss the Pogo of years past.

These days our time together is different.  Pogo gets confused easily.  His hearing is gone...his eyesight is minimal.  His body sometimes lets him down. These days our team work involves my helping him when he gets stuck under the table...my helping him into the car...my reassuring him when he gets scared.

There is no longer the rush of adrenaline, but the joy is still there. 

 I love this dog.

 

This week our world was altered slightly.  It became a bit less bright and sparkly...a little less carefree.

A friend of mine let her dog out into the yard as she had a million times before and he disappeared.  Did he take off after a cat or a bear?  Was he hit by a car?  All we know for sure is that he disappeared that night and was found a week later close to home in a brushy area beyond a ditch. He was dead.

Suddenly the little routines we take for granted became suspect.  Suddenly the small chances we take with our dog's safety became big chances. Some people wanted to blame my friend.  Some people wanted to blame the dog.  Some people wanted to blame whomever may have hit him.  But most of us knew that there was no one to blame.  It simply was a twist of fate.  It could've happened to any of us.  It CAN happen to any of us.


I hike with my dogs off leash every week.  They are well trained to come when called.  They are not let loose anywhere near roads.  They are hiked in areas familiar to them.  They've never taken off for more than 2 or 3 minutes out of my sight.  But still...


I take a chance.  I am well aware that it is a chance.  I do not take it thoughtlessly.  I have trained for the distractions of freedom.  My dogs are well identified with flat collar tags.  But, still...

I could make the choice to never, ever let my dogs off leash outside of a fence.  I do make that choice with some of my dogs - my Beagles over the years... my current tiny dogs...my senile old man, Pogo... they stay on leash.  But I choose to give my other dogs the freedom to hunt for birds, swim in the pond and race through the fields.  It is joyful to watch them smile their big doggie smiles after a run.

I am not suggesting that it is OK to be cavalier with your dog's safety.   If you haven't put in the training time for off leash freedom...if you are in an area with traffic or environmental hazards...if your dog is old , too young, too small, too adventurous, too timid etc.  PLEASE keep him on leash!
But if you choose to allow your dog the freedom to be a dog in this paradise we call Vermont, please do it knowing that your friend can be snatched from you at any moment.  Just as your human loved ones can by taken by car accidents, random acts of violence or illness.  Fate is a bitch.

To counteract this lack of control over my world,  I try to make sure that if any of my dogs were to be taken from me tomorrow I could rest easier knowing that every moment we shared was good.  That I never purposefully hurt them or treated them unfairly.  That I cared for them deeply both physically and emotionally.  That I trained them with humane methods that embraced individuality and their intrinsic sense of humor.

My friend's dog is gone...too soon...tragically.  But he lived a life in which he was truly cherished and treated with respect by his people.  He was loved.  He will be missed and his loss will be a constant reminder to me to do right by my dog...today, not tomorrow or next week when I have more time...

Signing off to take a hike with my dogs  The pond is waiting and oh how they love the pond!

A writing exercise

My friend Kelly belongs to a writing group.  Occasionally they challenge each other to come up with a piece of writing that contains particular words.  The piece can be as short as a paragraph or as long as desired.  Sometimes I join their group vicariously by doing the same exercise. 
Here are the words: Contentment, Claustrophobia, Dagger, Blanket
And here is my story:

My heart races just a little bit every time she does it.  It is impossible for me to imagine subjecting myself to such close confinement, never mind enjoy it as she does.  My own claustrophobia causes me to sleep with one foot over the edge of the bed to keep from feeling trapped.  But Belle is not me, and every night it is the same.

I'm drifting off to sleep and suddenly I feel her watching me.  Her stare pierces through my semi conscious mind like a dagger, and with a sigh I lift up the edge of the blanket.
"Wanna go under, Belle?" I ask her.
Most nights she'll slip immediately beneath the covers, settling in the space behind my bent knees.

Sometimes though, she'll won't be quite ready and will continue to stare intently at me without moving.  Resigned, slightly aggravated, I'll drop the covers and close my eyes, only to be stared awake again a short time later.
"Now, Belle?" I'll ask, once again lifting the blankets.  She'll duck under my arm, find her spot behind my knees and curl up with a sigh of contentment. 

When morning comes I lift the blankets one more time to reveal her still ensconced in her cozy nest.
"Good Morning, Belle"
Tail thumping wildly against the mattress, she wiggles her way up toward my pillow and our day begins.

Now?

Tawnie spends her time resting quietly at my feet waiting...always waiting...for whatever exciting thing I might do next.  "Oh boy!  We're going to the kitchen for coffee!  Yippee!  Oh boy!  We're going out to scoop poop!  Hooray!"  She is genuinely thrilled with any and all activities we might do together.  Mostly she is patient, leaving it to me to make the first move, but every once in a while she gives me a little nudge...
This is Tawnie's "Can we PLEASE go do something NOW?"  look.

When Uncle Brian turns into Papa

So Tucker is no longer a foster dog.  We have officially adopted him into our family.  It was not an easy decision, not a thoughtless decision, not a quick decision...he's been fostering with us since early December.  Actually I was quite proud of myself for keeping some emotional distance this time...sticking to behavioral observation, meeting his training and medical needs...sticking to the facts, rather than falling into the trap of looking into this needy dog's eyes and wondering what he must be feeling.

We have other dogs whom we have committed our souls and time to.  We have lives outside our dogs and human needs of our own.  We do not have an infinite cash flow!  So taking on a sixth dog was not an easy decision.  In fact I was against it on a cerebral level.

My husband also has the best interest of all our dogs in his heart, and he certainly is the more logical and practical of the two of us, but I have watched him rub Tucker's ears, gaze into his eager, goofy face and whisper sweet words in his ears.  I knew Brian was a goner a while ago. So, "Go see Uncle Brian", has changed to "Go see Papa" and referring to the other dogs as Tucker's new friends has changed to, "Tucker, leave your sister alone!"

I can feel myself open up when I rest my hand on the top of Tucker's head...there is a rush in my chest when his eyes meet mine.  We are calling him "Brian's Dog", but in fact he has firmly taken his place in my heart as well. He is my dog in the complete sense of the word. And that comes with responsibilities...to him and the other beings that share that status.

So what does adopting Tucker mean to our lives? To our other dogs' lives?
I will tell you what it will NOT mean.
It will NOT mean that the other dogs get fewer walks.
It will NOT mean that the other dogs get less attention.
It will NOT mean that the other dogs get less training.
It will NOT mean that Tucker's training, exercise or one on one time will be an after thought.

In fact it will mean the opposite.  Because Tucker is still recovering from ACL surgery, he needs to take short, frequent leash walks.  My dogs have a very large fenced yard and are not walked on leash much.  They go for off leash hikes a couple times a week, go to work with me, playing in the training room, and they enjoy the yard.  Street walks are infrequent.  Tucker's rehab needs mean daily walks and someone else gets to tag along!  So Pogo, my 14 year old Cattle dog cross, is now doing daily leash walks on our country road and in town.  The slower pace is good for his old bones and the change of scenery is good for his old brain.   At work in town, Tawnie or Belle do block walks with Tucker and I, getting more social exposure than before.  Eventually when Tucker can join our hikes we will need to rotate who comes, because I am not comfortable hiking with more than 3 dogs under my supervision or Brian will need to join us, so all 4 of the big dogs can come.  Taking an extra hike during the week so everyone gets out for their needed runs is not a hardship. I live in the most beautiful state in the country!  Brian works primarily from home and I am self employed.  We have the time.  We have the access.
Because Tucker has some separation anxiety issues we have been careful during foster, not to encourage him onto the bed or couch while we are on them.  We wanted him to learn to function on his own, so he has not usurped anyone's established resting places.   He hangs out on the futon, sleeps on a dog bed and does not try to be under my feet when I'm on the computer  There are no territory disputes in the house.  No one feels pushed out. No one gets less cuddle time.

Thankfully the wee dogs are not impacted by Tucker at all.  Our laps are always available to them! They go to work every Saturday for small dog playgroup and they are walked on flexis in place of off leash hikes.  That does not need to change in anyway.  Tucker is careful around them, never once bumping or stepping on either of them. 

Tucker needs recall training, continued independence training and toy training (currently he doesn't share very well!)  He will get the training he needs. His leash manners have gone from nonexistent to exceptional due to his rehab/ exercise needs.  He is a quick study.

So we are a family of 6 dogs now.  I would never attempt to have this many if Brian and I worked typical
9 to 5 jobs. I know we could never meet their needs then.  But it works well this way.  Our dogs are pretty lucky and we feel pretty lucky to be their people.
Welcome Tucker!

More on fostering

So here's Tucker , resting peacefully on the couch.  His belly is full from breakfast, his wounds are healing...his eyes flutter open and his tail thumps briefly as I walk into the room. It makes my heart feel good when I look at him. 

This is when fostering becomes REALLY difficult. To me, he looks like he belongs here and he is probably beginning to feel the same way.  How can I possibly uproot him again?  How can I send him on to yet another place to adjust to? He has come so far with me...

The answer lies in the faces of the 5 other dogs in my house.  They are not visibly stressed by Tucker being here.  They are eating, playing and following their normal routines. But a 6th dog is...well...a 6th dog! It means my time is divided that much further.  It means that they have that much less of me... and me of them.

I will not lie.  I am pretty attached to Tucker. He is very endearing.  He is sweet.  He is a big goomba! Will he miss me when he moves onto a permanent home?  I think so.  I know I will miss him.  I know I will cry.  But I have to believe that there is someone out there that will love him like I do and perhaps, that someone will have more of that love available to give him.  He deserves more than being one of six.

So, Tucker is still looking for a home.  While he is here I will love him as my own, but I will hold back a tiny piece of my heart . I will remind myself daily that I am part of his journey, not a destination.  And I will try to believe it.

Will the real Tucker please stand up?

My foster Vizsla, Tucker,  has been with us for 3 1/2 weeks now.  He is a quiet dog in the house.  Often I don't know where he is.  He is not clingy any longer, more often choosing to rest on the futon in the living room rather than at my feet like others.  I have practiced leaving him home alone and have been successful for 1 and 2 hour stretches.  I'm pleased with that, as severe separation anxiety is what landed him in the shelter. He is house trained, pretty good off leash and friendly with people.  He can be edgy with new dogs, particularly males, but we already knew that and he has adapted well to my crew.   But as he has settled in he has begun to try to claim some things as his own - namely stuffed toys.  We first noticed a stillness in his posture when approached by us or another dog when he had a toy in his mouth. I made sure he was OK with me touching him, touching toy, taking toy and returning it.  I rewarded him highly and he relaxed.  We watched him more closely with the other dogs. Next we saw him roughly grab a toy off the floor as my other Vizsla, Belle, reached for it.  She displayed appeasement gestures in response to his forcefulness.  OK.  Then we saw him growl at Belle when he had a toy in his mouth and she approached.  OK.  Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.  Today he ran across the room and aggressively tried to grab a toy out of my 14 yr old dog's mouth.  THAT is simply not OK.  So I intervened quickly.  He got a time out and all the toys got picked up.  So there!  He will loose some freedom now, will be supervised more closely and toys will be re-introduced slowly, using counter conditioning to decrease his worry when approached by other dogs. 
Again...this is a process...
Fostering is supposed to be a chance to retrain, restore confidence and relieve stress.  It is not enough to simply house a foster dog and send him on his way, problems intact.  So, Tucker ...looks like we have more work to do!